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We all make decisions. Probably hundreds of them a day. Some of them happen at such a basic level, in the most primitive parts of our brains, that we don’t even recognize them as decisions. Others of them happen intuitively, guided by spirit in their highest form.

Most of them are intellectually or emotionally driven. Intellectual decisions are based on facts, analysis, logical reasoning, and probabilities, to name a few. They are choices we make conciously many times throughout the day. Necessary, practical decisions and choices.

Other decisions are emotional. We make decisions based on how we feel, or more accurately, how we think we feel.

I’ve learned that I can use my emotions as sort of a spiritual radar — when my emotions are joy and love, I am closest to my truest and highest spiritual self, and when my emotions are fear or anger (or one of the hundreds of other derivatives of fear), I am moving away from a spiritual alignment.

One of the best tools I’ve discovered when faced with a decision, particularly one which is very important — such as a job change, a move, whether to accept a promotion or significant project, ending or beginning a relationship — is to examine my motives. This is especially useful when the decision has a high emotional value, or seems to be a difficult decision with resistance, rather than one which seems to be part of a natural flow.

It’s a great question. What’s my motive? Using this tool effectively requires self-honesty and a willingness to really be authentic with myself and others. It’s a thoughtful question and forces me to think things through.

Often I find my motive is ego-based. I may think I want a promotion because I’ll make more money or I want a new set of responsibilities to energize me. But when I really look at my motives, I may really be driven by looking good in comparison to others. I may make a choice that isn’t really right for me because my ego is large and in charge!

On a more common level, I might be tempted to gossip about someone. To judge. I’ve learned, before I open my mouth, or send the email, or make the phone call, to pause. Take a deep breath. Examine my motives. Think it through. Why do I want to gossip? To seem important? Like I know a bit of information that makes me the center of attention? To be superior? To gain advantage over someone?

Then I look at the impact of my decision on others. What is the ripple effect? Will I harm someone? What would the affect be on other people? Would it be positive? If the tables were turned, how would I want to be treated?

It’s not easy to do this all the time. Not even most of the time. But with practice it gets to be more of a habit, and happens without as much effort. And what a valuable practice it is! I create a lot less drama, have fewer regrets, feel much better about myself.

And I also make fewer decisions! Mind my own business more, which really means I just worry about my own behaviour and attitudes. And sure enough, I get better results!

The next time you are faced with a decision that isn’t clear, take a step back. Ask yourself, honestly, what your motive is. And when you discover the answer to that question, you may find your decision becomes much clearer and your confidence in your decision making will really improve. You’ll make better decisions, and feel better about them, and about yourself.