EmployeeNext: Creating success and joy at work

So much has been happening in my workday world lately that my blog has been getting little of my time. And candidly, since I’m a pretty new blogger, I’ve been frustrated by my slow progress on the finer points of creating a really well laid out, professional looking blog. I’ve been in the corporate world a long time and I am used to competency! (And help desks to just tell me the solution fast, please, thank you!)

I saw my good friend Dick Richards today, who is a wonderful blogger. Check out his blog at www.ongenius.com. I was complaining (whining actually, but let’s put some lipstick on the pig) about my frustration with not knowing how to do hot links and photos and having to actually read the online manual. After letting me run on a while, he said “why didn’t you call me?” I explained that I didn’t want to bother him, I should be able to figure this out on my own. He looked at me and said “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? Call me, and if you are bothering me, I will tell you that.”

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I received this video link for a wonderful gratitude video today.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3Zl9puhwiyw

Today is truly a gift, and gratitude for everything we are, every breath we take, every moment we’ve been given, is divine love in action and will bring us to a state of joy and peace.

I’ve just spent the weekend at a retreat led by a wonderful Catholic priest from Los Angeles, Father Terry Richey. If LA is the City of Angels, he certainly is one of them for me. While I am not Catholic, I did get my childhood education in a Catholic Montessori school. Perhaps that is part of the basis of my love of ritual and tradition. I remember the Latin Mass and being mesmerized by it. But I do not ever remember thinking of the priests as real people, human beings with feelings and experiences that I could relate to.

In my pursuit of my spiritual truth, especially recently, I have spent a great deal of time expanding my understanding of Christianity, and quite a bit of that work has been done in retreat under the guidance of Catholic priests. I have been surprised — in the most joyous and exciting sense of that word — by their vision, deep commitment, humor, love, insight, and most especially, their real humanity — mistakes, flaws, conflict, small victories, and feelings just like mine. I would never have imagined I could identify so completely with someone who on the surface lives a life so different than my own.

How often do we pass each other by because the surface — the exterior — we notice as we glance at our fellow human beings seems so different from ourselves we assume the soul which animates the body we see has nothing in common with our own? How many opportunities for true friendship and sharing are lost?

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My son is thirteen years old. He’s my only child. We are close, and I’m getting totally thrown for a loop by some of the behaviours that are coming with his entrance into teenagedoom. (How unique, you might chuckle!) So a friend of mine suggested a terrific book that I’m now reading — called “Parent Effectiveness Training” by Dr. Thomas Gordon.

As I read this book, the obvious comparisons to any relationship - particularly work relationships - just leap off the page. Dr. Gordon talks about “Active Listening” which is a process using “I-statements” not “You-statements.” Many of us have run across these concepts in marriage, family, and relationship counseling, and Dr. Gordon really articulates them clearly so they can immediately be taken home for a test drive.

Another gem Dr. Gordon brought up is anger — his view is that it’s a secondary emotion. He suggests that when we get angry, it happens (in a nanosecond usually) as a result of a primary emotion that is immediately masked by the anger. This is a problem because then we aren’t dealing with the underlying issue or emotion at all — just focusing on our angry feelings. This allows us to fail to look at our own part or our own behaviour - because anger is always directed outward.

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We are what we believe. Our thoughts create our perceptions, the lens through which we create our reality or worldview. In turn, our reality determines our actions. And the results of our actions reflect our beliefs!

We attract what we vibrate — what we believe. There are many books and films now that generate a great deal of attention — “The Secret” is an example of this — but remember Dr. Norman Vincent Peale? “The Power of Positive Thinking” — I have a pamphlet of Dr. Peale’s I’ve saved and hung on the bulletin board over my desk for about 15 years now — and the message is the same. Positive thinking, positive energy, positive vibration, prayer, healing, affirmations, gratitude, love, forgiveness, letting go — is a common thread running through teachings I’ve found very important in my own journey, from “The Course in Miracles” to “You Can Heal Your Life” (the powerful work of Louise Hay) to the wonderful work of Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Esther and Jerry Hicks, and many others.

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Spencer Johnson wrote a great little book that sales managers handed out by the millions called “Who Moved my Cheese?” I was managing a team of salespeople at the time it was first published and gave a copy to all my folks and read it myself. Quick read, took about an hour. Then I conducted a sales meeting to discuss the book.

Guess how many people had read it? About 30%. Guess how many people were performing at an acceptable level? About 30%. See a correlation here? Think my top two guys read it and also had some pretty insightful things to say about it — you bet!

And the 70% who didn’t read it also tended to be the ones who never worked a little extra, often complained they weren’t making enough, and didn’t want to venture out much to actually see their customers. Avoided finding new accounts or making a few cold calls, reading trade journals, or making other investments in their skills.

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At my Unity congregation, we are currently doing a study group on the Course In Miracles. This curriculum has been something I’ve wanted to pursue for a long time, but as is usual in my life, when I’m truly ready, the opportunity just shows up, and all I have to do is say “yes.”

So it is with the Course in Miracles. Years ago a friend gifted me with the book for the Course, and it has been in plastic on my bookshelf for quite a long time. The Course In Miracles is a commitment. I was always a bit intimidated by it — embarking on it is analogous to reading the Bible - takes a year, some willingness and determination, perseverance, and is best done with the support of a group. I’ve taken a few runs at reading the Bible, bought different versions, picked it up, put it down …. I’m a spiritualist, not a religious person, and have really looked for excuses to avoid the reading the Bible as I’ve often associated it with religion rather than spirituality.

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I’ve just returned from a few days of vacation to visit my aunt in Texas. We have a small family and she is the only one still living from my father’s generation. She is 93 years old.

My aunt Nell is an incredible woman. Originally from Missouri, she has that plain and direct style but without any aggression or stubbornness — just honest, direct communication. At the age of 93, she still keeps and cleans two homes, plays bridge, drives, is sharp as ever, and healthy. Not even one prescription medication.

She has lived an amazing life, doing many things that no woman had done before her in her quiet and modest way. She had a wonderful marriage to her best friend and enjoys the love of her son and grandchildren. She has more social engagements still than she can manage! A life well lived by a woman who is truly loved.

As I spent time with her, just being together, playing cards, and telling stories, I watched the simplicity and joy that is attached to everything she does. From the appreciation of simple food and good company, to the plants in her garden, the objects in her home each of which have a story remembered and told, she lives a life of gratitude and pleasure. Although she lost her husband shortly after they retired, she is never lonely and shows not a trace of self-pity. He is everywhere in her memory and she lovingly keeps him alive with stories.

How I aspire to be a woman like my aunt. Accepting and kind to everyone, always polite, not prideful, egotistical, or phony. Still open-minded. Spiritual and caring. Still teachable.

I truly believe that it is our attitudes that affect everything we do. When we are connected spiritually to someone, something, other than ourselves, when we are grateful and positive in our thinking, we infuse ourselves and those around us with health of the mind-body-spirit. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that this wonderful woman should be going strong without a medication in sight at 93. Her attitude of gratitude and joy in living surround her like a gentle, soft aroma. What a gift she is in my life.

Once of the things I’ve found to be a personal challenge is dealing with the past. Most of us don’t realize we make decisions everyday based on the past, and we even forecast our futures (thereby creating them with our actions and our thinking) by recreating the past. Our perceptions are dictated by the past, and not even always our own actual past experiences! Often our thinking is controlled by past thoughts — teachings from our families, employers, churches, schools, our cultural influences … the list is endless. So we “own” these opinions and judgments and create a set of beliefs and assumptions based on past events and opinions and then use them to guide our current and future decisions. Kinda like driving down I-95 today with a really old map — we’d get off the highway at the same old exit ramp not realizing that of course the new road goes all the way through!

This repetition of past behaviour, expecting different results, creates a myriad of problems for us. We do need to understand the past, observe it, and make sure it gives us a foundation of facts on which we can base opinions and decisions. But we need to direct the decisions using a firm understanding of present conditions — not allow the past to drive the car, read the map, and determine the route.

The past should be treated like a history lesson. It can be very useful, when we don’t attach emotion to it. It is best used to get knowledge about an event, place, person, culture, or organization that will give us good background and understanding, lay a foundation of knowledge we can build on. We can look at lessons learned without fear or judgment.

It’s when we get all caught up in it — the nostalgia, attempts at recreation, (funny how we do forget the bad times quickly and remember the good forever!) the attempts to return to it and “go home again” that we can feel victimized, hopeless, disenfranchised. This is not only a denial of the present, it can become a justification for failure to accept personal responsibility for our own attitudes and behaviours. We start to blame. Get inert. Paralyzed.

So how does this affect us in the workplace? How does this understanding of past employer/employee paradigms help us become “EmployeeNext?” I’ll start a discussion of that using my own personal experiences in my next post.

How I love the Latin based languages! Often I find the words can be broken down into parts and when we look at them differently a more profound meaning emerges.

I am a member of the Unity Church and attend Sunday services often — we have a wonderful congregation of really magical people with interfaith and new thought backgrounds — and a very inspiring and high vibrating minister to lead us. Today we had a beautiful service with a very moving christening and spiritual message.

We all have spiritual gifts. Often we are unaware of these - we’ve been listening to outside messages defining us in limited ways. But when we begin to seek our own spiritual truth in earnest - seek and ye shall find! I often perceive on an intuitive level — and I often find sources of inspiration everywhere, right out in the open! So today, I was thinking about these two words - Inspiration and Intuition - and their significance in my journey.

When I combined them - I created Inspirtuition - I define this as “to find inspiration intuitively.” And look at the syllabic breakdown — In-Spir-Tu-It — what a lovely interpretation - to “inspire” to it! To reach for something with our spiritual nature rather than our worldly view.

We are all spiritual beings having human experiences — souls with bodies, rather than bodies with souls. When I approach what I perceive with that view — leading with my spirit first — I find inspiration and my intuition is always my faithful, reliable guide.

Our Reverend Kyra shared some wonderful wisdom with us today I wanted to post — rules for living life “in spirit” –

1. Do no harm and start with yourself

2. Do everything you do with honesty and integrity

3. Find your human joy and be thankful for the opportunity

“Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God” - Teillard de Chardin